


We're Not Getting A Real Tree, Okay?

by elysianrogue (l_ecrivain)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Shopping, Cute, F/F, Fluff, I know it's not Christmas guys, Ice Skating, Sick Character, i can't write more christmas right now, i just found this in my drafts and it was too cute not to publish, i'll get too excited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23039440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_ecrivain/pseuds/elysianrogue
Summary: Pieces from the week before Christmas for Harley and Ivy where Ivy has promised Harley she'll do whatever fun Christmas activities she wants if she'll only shut up about getting a real Christmas tree.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. Ice Skating (Or Ivy learns to skate after falling on her ass)

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I know it's not Christmas y'all. But this is some cute shit and I found it in my drafts so here, read.

Harley could see her breath floating in the air in front of her as she dragged an irritated Ivy through the crowded town square. Ivy had promised Harley that she would do all the Christmas activities she wanted in the week leading up to Christmas if she would only shut up about getting a real Christmas tree. 

The first activity just so happened to be skating in the town square ice rink. And Ivy just so happened to not exactly know how to skate. She wasn’t going to tell Harley that though. Not over her dead body. Or the Joker’s. Well, maybe she’d fess up over his body. Who knew? Not her. And most definitely not Harley.

She sighed as Harley paid for the skates they would be renting. She glanced over to the large rink and watched all the small children falling over and over until they got the hang of the motions. She knew that would be her in just a few moments. Maybe she could stall. She tapped Harley on the shoulder.

“You know, Harl,” she drawled. “I’m already quite cold. Maybe we should get hot chocolate first.”

Harley giggled. “Babe, no, that’s not how this works. You get hot chocolate after skating because you’re freezing your ass off from the wind and wet ice.”

“But I’m already freezing my ass off,” Ivy complained.

Harley rolled her eyes with a grin. She handed Ivy the second pair of skates she had rented. “Skates. Now.”

Ivy sighed exasperatedly. She took the skates and started lacing them up. They were pure white figure skates. They matched the fresh snow that had just begun to fall from the sky. Ivy finished lacing and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck. She hated the winter. She stood up, wobbling slightly and then sat right back down. She took a deep breath.

Harley finished lacing up her hockey skates and tightened her low pigtails. She glanced over at the redhead sitting beside her. She looked positively terrified. At least her eyes did. Harley smiled softly. She put her hand on Ivy’s knee.

“Red,” she asked. “Do you know how to skate?”

Ivy looked up quickly. “Of course I know how to skate, Harley.”

Harley raised an eyebrow, not quite believing her girlfriend. “Alrighty-o. Let’s skate!”

Pam smirked and stood up, steadier than before. She took a step forward and her arm shot out to grasp Harley’s arm. Harley stifled her laughter to spare Ivy’s pride. The plant queen took another step forward and steadied herself. She looked back at Harley and glared at her. “It’s been a while, alright?”

Harley just grinned and walked towards the rink. Ivy wobbled behind her as quickly as she could manage, trying her best not to fall on her face. Harley snickered. Ivy mumbled some choice curses under her breath. They finally reached the rink and Ivy gripped Harley’s arm for a moment before ripping it away realizing she said she knew what she was doing. Harley stepped onto the ice and tilted her head a little, waiting for Ivy to step onto the ice. Ivy looked to the ice, then back to the bench they had just come from, and finally at Harley. She took a sharp breath as she stepped onto the ice.

She stood still for a moment, completely steady. Harley began to push away from the edge and Ivy tried to mimic the jester’s movements. She failed. Miserably. Onto her ass she went. Harley burst out laughing as Mother Nature’s so-called protector lost her balance and went down. But what she didn’t know was that Ivy’s natural reaction was to grab what was closest to her. That just so happened to be her. So down she went as well, falling into a heap of winter clothes and limbs on the cold hard ice.

This made Ivy laugh. At least once she was over the initial shock of falling on her ass. Harley grinned. “How long exactly has it been?”

Ivy smiled sheepishly if you could even call it that. Ivy didn’t smile sheepishly. But that was as close as you would get to it. “Well, if I’ve been alive for around 50 years… the last time was… never.”

“Gosh, Red,” Harley said. “Well, now I gotta teach you.”

“Or we could go home?” Ivy tried.

“Nope! You got lotsa learnin’ to do today, Pam-a-lamb!” Harley stood up and helped Ivy up. She steadied the redhead before beginning her explanation on how to skate. Reluctantly, Ivy listened as best she could and after a good couple hours, the pair were both skating to the best of their ability.

Harley stopped at the edge near their bench and put her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. “Wanna get hot cocoa now, Red?”

Ivy skated up to the blonde and said, “Sure, that sounds good. But after that, we’re going home. I’m exhausted.”

Harley’s face split into one of her large grins. “Can we cuddle when we get home?”  
Ivy sighed. “We’ll see.”

Harley stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “Please?”

Ivy shook her head at the display. “Fine.”

“Kisses?”

Ivy rolled her eyes. She leaned forward and lightly pecked the blonde on the lips, eliciting a large smile from her. “Don’t push it.”


	2. Christmas Crafts (AKA Harley gets sick before Christmas and Ivy has to make her feel better)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley is sick and Ivy wants her to have a good day despite it.

Harley hated being sick. Although it was rare since Ivy gave her those shots, it always sucked. With Mistah J. In Arkham. With Ivy. Or even when she was at home as a kid. It always freaking sucked. And it was even worse when it happened near Christmas. So when she awoke that morning to a churning in her stomach and a rush to the bathroom, she had every right to be upset.

Ivy’s eyes opened that morning to the sound of the beautiful jester retching her normally cheerful guts out. She grimaced. She slid out of bed, slipping her robe on over her previously naked body, and wandered into the bathroom. She saw the blonde right away. The younger girl had finished being ill for the time being and sat, completely curled up, against the bathtub across from the toilet. She sniffled. Her blue eyes were fatigued and her body was slouched. 

Ivy sat down across from the clown girl and gave her a concerned look. Harley crawled forward and curled up against the redhead, gripping a part of Ivy’s robe and whimpering. Ivy tentatively placed her hand on the girl’s head and lovingly stroked her hair. The blonde coughed. Once. Twice. Three times. Next thing she knew she was in the middle of a coughing fit. When it finished, she groaned and slouched back down against the green-eyed woman.

“Sweet pea, let’s go back to bed, okay?” Ivy said. Harley nodded weakly, allowing Ivy to lead her back into their bedroom. Before she crawled back into their king sized bed, Ivy made Harley put some warmer pyjamas on. Harley did so without a word and then fell into the bed, curling up once more. Ivy crawled in beside the sickly jester and rubbed her back lightly. They both fell back asleep.

Ivy woke up first. She sat up and stretched. She glanced at Harley who was still sound asleep beside her. Well, as sound as you could be when you couldn’t breathe through your nose properly. Harley coughed a couple of times as Ivy watched her sleep. The redhead put her palm on her girlfriend’s forehead and sighed in relief when it was a normal temperature. At least she didn’t have a fever.

Ivy slid out of bed and quickly dressed. She made her way into the kitchen and reached up into the very top of one of the cupboards. She pulled out a jar of Spaghetti-O's. She hated this stuff. It was disgusting in her opinion. But she always kept a jar or two around for Harley and she figured this would make the poor girl feel a bit better when she woke up. The plant queen quickly heated it up and with some help from her babies, made up a quick drink that would help Harley get rid of this flu or cold even faster than she normally would. Putting everything on a tray, she brought it into their room for Harley.

The green-eyed woman placed the tray on their bedside table and gently shook Harley awake. Harley whimpered but opened her eyes. Her tired blue eyes met Ivy’s worried green ones. She smiled a bit. “Hey, Red,” she mumbled.

“Hey, Sweet Pea,” Ivy replied. “Do you feel any better?”

Harley shrugged. “A bit.”

“Do you want some Spaghetti O’s?” Ivy asked.

Harley’s smile widened. “Yeah, that sounds yummy, babe.”

“Alright, Harl.” She passed Harley the tray off the nightstand. “The drink will make this go away faster.”

Harley eyed it suspiciously. “You sure, Red? It looks pretty nasty to me.”

“Harley…” Ivy warned playfully.

“Alright, alright.” And with that, she downed the whole drink. She ate the soup at a slower pace while talking to the redhead about how excited she was for Selina’s annual Christmas party the next day. She finished her soup and passed the tray off to Ivy, all the while still talking. Ivy could see her drink was already taking its proper effects. 

Harley coughed again. Ivy smiled wanly. “I told you that you should’ve worn a warmer coat yesterday. This is the result.”

“I suppose you’re right, Red, but then I wouldn’t have looked as snazzy.” The girl grinned.

“God, Harley. You are completely ridiculous.”

“But you looovvveee meeee!”

“Unfortunately, I happen to do just that.” Ivy huffed with a minuscule grin covering her features. She leaned forward and kissed Harley on the cheek. “You should go back to sleep. The drink I gave you will only get rid of everything quickly with lots of sleep.”

Harley yawned. “But I’m not tired.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “Sure, Harl. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Harley hummed in response and closed her drooping eyelids. After a few minutes, her breathing evened out and Ivy knew she was asleep. Ivy stood up and fixed the blankets. She kissed the blonde’s forehead and made to leave the room. She had decided she would set something fun up that Harley could do when she woke up. It would hopefully make her feel better.

Harley had plans to drag Ivy to Gotham’s annual Christmas craft fair that day but now that she was sick she couldn’t. Maybe Ivy could bring the crafts here… that’s perfect. The redhead walked over to the kitchen counter and wrote a quick note to leave for Harley while she was out. She got a couple of advils and a glass of water to go with it. She quietly placed everything on the bedside table.

She got all her winter clothes on and headed out to the store. Oh, the things she would do for Harley.

A couple of hours had passed when Harley awoke from her nap. She definitely felt better. Not perfect yet but much better. She rolled over and spotted the glass of water, Advil, and note. She smiled. Ivy normally didn’t remember that Advil was a thing. She took the pills and downed the water before looking at the note. It read, “I went out to grab a couple of items for a surprise. Do not leave our room until I come to get you or you’ll ruin the surprise.”

Harley grinned. She wondered what this surprise was. Ivy didn’t like surprises normally but apparently this was a special occasion. Harley grabbed her laptop from on the bedside table and starting watching whatever show appealed to her at that moment on Netflix. 

It wasn’t until Harley had gotten through two episodes of Fairly Odd Parents, that she heard the front door slam shut behind who she could only assume was Ivy. She heard some odd noises and was tempted to investigate but she stayed put, not wanting to ruin Ivy’s surprise. She watched another episode of Fairly Odd Parents. 

Ivy cracked open the door a few minutes later and saw Harley watching some show that she couldn’t think of what the name was. She walked into the room and Harley looked up.

“Hey, babe!” Harley giggled. “Is my surprise ready yet?”

Ivy shook her head at Harley’s anticipation. “Yes, it’s ready now.”  
Harley practically jumped out of bed and bounced over to her girlfriend. “Well, let’s gooooo then.”

Ivy laughed and gestured for Harley to follow her. Harley did so with a smile glued to her face. She loved surprises.

When they got to the living room/dining room, Harley saw a wide variety of stations set up. Each station seemed to have some sort of craft there. Christmas crafts! There were Christmas carols echoing through the room as well and Harley instantly spotted a large plate of store-bought Christmas cookies on the coffee table. Her face split into a grin that could rival The Joker’s as she turned around and threw her arms around her girlfriend. Ivy somewhat reluctantly hugged her back.

Harley broke away from the embrace a moment later and said, “Thanks, Red.”

“You’re welcome, Harley.” Ivy smiled warmly. “I just thought that since we could go to the craft fair today because you were sick, I would bring the crafts to you.”

“It’s perfect!”

“I’m glad you think so.”

Harley grabbed Ivy’s hand and pulled her over to the first craft at the coffee table and therefore also the green and red iced Christmas cookies. They spent the rest of the afternoon making crafts, eating cookies, and sharing lots of kisses, chocolate and real, before finally falling asleep on the couch.

It had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please like and comment. It makes my whole day!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies! Kudos are my lifeblood and comments make me really happy so would ya?


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